A Warm Experiment

Junko Enoshima from the video game Danganronpa holding Monokuma in front of her face
Ultimate Despair

I’ve been doing nothing but knitting lately. I never used to knit, but this last year has been pretty tough, and I couldn’t get myself to do any art—every time I sat down, even if I had ideas, even if I knew exactly what I wanted to do, I’d fill up with this existential despair knowing that I just wasn’t going to be able to actually produce what I was imagining, and even if I did, what did it matter?

(I’m not handling American political strife so well, guys.)

I was also very, very cold.

It’s not that cold here—it’s January, and it still hasn’t snowed. I’m a little worried, actually; it’s supposed to have snowed by now. Still, when I’m morose I don’t eat enough, and when you don’t eat enough your body turns down the thermostat to preserve energy, so I was absolutely freezing all the time.

I got into my Pending Project box, and dug out the all-wool sweater I’d intended to finish for Halloween. I’d given it up because stockinette for thirty inches is incredibly boring, especially when you’ve re-done it four times because the pattern keeps coming out too small.

Downside: This was my first sweater, and I was going to have to make major modifications that were decidedly outside my skillset.

Upside: I only needed to make it bigger. If it came out too big, it could be my next moping sweater.

Close-up of the photoographer's torso wearing a sweater with a square neck and black-and-brownish-orangeish stripes.
It turned out just right!

So I snuggled into a blanket nest with a TV show I’d already seen and cast on for the fifth time and… as it turns out, endless stockinette is very comforting when you’re feeling morose.

As is making  something unambiguously good. I made this thing, and I was cold but now I’m warm. And also it looks cute? Look at that square neck. The sleeves are oversized with tight cuffs, which is my favorite.

And then I made another one.

And I would be making another one right now, except I ran out of budget, so it’s going to have to wait.